Scarfgirl

I promise to do whatever I love, enjoy, and find enrichment in regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Or at least, I’ll try my best to.

You’re not going to be that vision of someone other than yourself because that other person is the person you see who has all this stuff going for her. 

You’re going to be that person, exactly as you are. 

Went for a walk with the little sister.
Signed up for that class.
If it doesn’t turn out to be my cup of tea, who says I can’t come back to home base and pick up on what I was already doing?

I’m learning to listen to that gut feeling I get about things. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expected them to, but I’m beginning to be okay with that.

Went blueberry picking with a beautiful and warm friend.

The Gaslight Anthem.

All that I know
Is your space is empty
It’s buried below
The stress and the envy
All the places I go
It still hasn’t left me
I hated it then 
And now it consumes me

I dwell on it nightly
Tread swiftly and lightly
Make up the lost ground
And see what you don’t see
All the questions aside 
I asked and you lied
And now my hands are tied



-The Story So Far, Empty Spaces

I have this idea of Middle Ground in the back of my head. I know what it feels like, because of the times I’ve experienced it firsthand.

I suppose the idea is to acknowledge that like with a clock, the pendulum swings from one end to another, that is a given.
However, you have to make sure you don’t go to the same extremes of the spectrum. Remember the center, and try to stay as close as possible to it.

Maybe it’s okay to feel a little disingenuous or embarrassed for entertaining or considering an idea from the other side. It’s about knowing what feels right for you, what you can live with.

In the end, you know Who you have to answer to. Forget the people and forget their opinions.
Don’t give them and their words the same weight you give His. That’s just absurd, and you’ve allowed that to deter you from the things that really matter.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of “mistakes” recently, and I think I’ll write about that tomorrow or later tonight to kind of try to make sense of my thoughts out loud.

This thought occurs to me every time I vacuum my car, organize papers, or thoroughly sort out my living space:

Try. No matter what your circumstances are, no matter how deeply you believe that you want more than what you have now, you can better your circumstances, by just trying.
Tidy up your thoughts, your feelings, what you put into your body.

Do something about it if you don’t like it.
Try.
Always try.

There’s a bit of a blister on my left foot now, but overall ace run.

The only reason I’ve been slacking with consistency in getting out there is because I’m a chicken.

Too chicken to experience pain, the wall, and pushing through it to get to the blissful land of Runner’s High.